“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here? The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go. Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”*
I don’t know why but I have always been drawn to this quote but I think a big reason is because I feel like have spent my life asking the question, “Which way I ought to go…?” My parents got divorced when I was around the age of 3-4 so my brother and I ended up living with our mom and our dad moved to the other side of the state. This meant we never really got to have a relationship with him, which also meant he wasn’t around to teach his boys what it meant to be a man. We weren’t able to follow our dad on the paths he had walked as a man and learn from him. We had to find our own paths. I am grateful for a mom who recognized this need in the lives of her boys and surrounded us with men who helped us learn to navigate our own paths. These men gave us tools so we could forge our own paths and begin to lay a path for our own kids.
This is why I have a heart for the next generation specifically to tell them about Jesus and how He can radically change their life. I know the power of God and how he can transform lives for I have experienced it in my own life. I know God is a Father who pursues and loves his children. I know God never gives up on us even when we stumble over and over. I believe with all my heart that the only answer to the pain and trials of this world is a relationship with Jesus. There is nothing else that will satisfy. The things of this world may give you temporary satisfaction but at the end of the day you are still left wanting. You are left with questions. But for those who put their hope in Jesus Christ, they know they will be saved. Go read Romans 8. It is a great passage that talks about the hope we as Christians have. This is what I want the next generation to know, there is hope.
I have three kids of my own which means they are part of the next generation so how do I tell them about this hope? What kind of path I am creating for them? Am I equipping them with tools to go out on their own and forge new paths? Have I given them “foundation” that they can build upon? Are my paths and direction easy to follow? Or am I putting obstacles in their way? Am I standing in their way?
When I think about this idea of a path I think about this place called Wildcat Den near where I live. There are tons of well worn paths for you to follow, complete with wooden stairs and bridges. If you stay on these paths you will see some pretty cool stuff and yes will safely get back to your car but the locals know there is so much more to see if you are willing to leave the familiar paths. This is my favorite part of trail walking, going off the beaten path to find that “unexplored” area that no one has ever seen…ok or maybe just a few people have seen. Yes, it can be a little scary and maybe even dangerous but that’s what make these trails so great. You feel a sense of accomplishment knowing that you safely navigated a course through the unknown territory back to the familiar. Once you have seen these awesome new places you want to bring others along.
I think this is a great illustration for how we should raise our kids. At the beginning of their lives they will follow us on the familiar paths, which are the paths that we as parents have walked before them. These familiar paths are safe and are a reference point to look for when they get lost. They are a map for our kids to follow. But my goal as a parent isn’t to raise carbon copies of myself or kids who stick to the safe and familiar maps. I want my kids to learn from my mistakes, build on my strengths but ultimately find out who God created them to be not what mom or dad wants them to be.
Kara Powell and Steven Argue in their book Growing With* call this process “Faithing.” By “faithing” they mean “a child’s growth in owning and embodying their own journey with God as they encounter new experiences and information.” They continue on to say “…faith isn’t just a noun, it’s a verb…”(139). I think this is so good. That’s my hope for my own kids. I don’t want them to follow God because my mom and dad do but because they “own and embody their own journey with God.” I like the idea of a “journey with God” because following God is a lifelong experience. That’s why we as parents must equip and train our kids to be able to walk that journey on their own.
A little over two thousand years ago, a Father prepared the way for His Son to follow. The path this Son forged would forever change history and the lives of thousands. The Son forged this path with his very life. It was by his death, burial and resurrection that others could follow. The Father gave us a map that we could read so we would know how to follow the path of His Son. It is this path we parents must first find so that we can guide our kids along them. But like the Son the did long ago, we must give our kids the tools and knowledge to be able to continue to follow on this path on their own. We must prepare the way for our kids so that they may found the Way that leads to eternal life.
*Carroll, Lewis. Alice In Wonderland and Through The Looking Glass. Gosset and Dunlap, 1944.
**Powell, Kara Eckmann, and Steven Argue. Growing with: Every Parents Guide to Helping Teenagers and Young Adults Thrive in Their Faith, Family, and Future. Grand Rapids, MI: Baker Books, 2019.