Oh the playground days. The place where legends were made. Where the boys were separated from the men. Seriously, does anyone else remember recess time like this? Or is it just me? It was such a great time for me as a young boy. You learned so much out on the playground. There was probably some stuff you should not have learned but you did.
Did you ever say or hear someone say this phrase when you were growing up, “Stick and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.”?
It was the common defense for any time someone insulted you on the playground. All of us little grade schoolers would say this thinking it fixed everything. We said it to show we were tough but if we were all honest the words still hurt. And if we are all honest as adults, we would admit that it still hurts when someone calls us a name.
The one plus side I had growing up when I did was that there was no social media so if I had a bad day I could just go home and forget about it. Not these days. Someone can call you a name on social media and it can live online forever.
The other plus side of when I grew up (not sure this is a positive plus, I guess depends which side you ended up on) was that if someone called you a name they usually had to say it to your face which usually didn’t end well. But for us boys that usually was a good thing. Somebody would call you a name, you would fight about it until an adult would step in to break it up. As you stood there angry, you got to see how your actions impacted the other kid and that was usually the end of it. By the time the next recess came around you were friends again.
You do this as an adult and you will end up in the hospital or jail or both.
Now that I have kids who are in grade school and I have had to learn how to deal with name calling. My simple response to my kids when someone calls them a name or they call themselves a name I ask them, “Is that the truth?” I want them to see the lies and replace them with the truth.
Sometimes my kid will answer by saying, “Yes, it is true. I am a ____________.”
So I respond back by asking the question a different way, “Does God say that is true?”
Now, I am not trying to Jesus Juke* here but rather want them to begin to understand that their identity is found in the names God calls them not the ones the world calls them.
One of my favorite stories in the Bible is found in Luke 3:21-22. It is the baptism of Jesus.
21 When all the people were being baptized, Jesus was baptized too. And as he was praying, heaven was opened 22 and the Holy Spirit descended on him in bodily form like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my Son, whom I love; with you I am well pleased.”
I had read and heard this passage numerous times but it wasn’t until someone pointed out that God the Father said this to Jesus before he had even started his public ministry which transformed the way I read this passage. God the Father was proud of Jesus, His Son, simply because Jesus is His Son. That’s it. I was absolutely rocked by this.
And as amazing as this is, you know what my response to this was, “What can I do to get the Father to love me like that?” Wow, I completely missed the point.
But sadly I would not expect anything else from a boy who was called a variety of names growing up. I don’t write this to make you feel sad for me but to bring up the point that the names we are called can shape our identity. After you hear the same name for so long you begin to believe that it is your true name.
Failure. Loser. Liar. Worthless.
I know these names are lies straight from Satan but what makes them convincing is that there is a kernel of truth to them. I have failed. Numerous times in every aspect of my life. I mean who has not failed? We are all imperfect humans. Even though I know these names are a lie, there are times that I believe them to be true. And because I believe them to be true, I began to feel worthless.
Satan calls us names so we will believe those lies and live in that identity instead of the true identity found in Christ Jesus.
Chosen. Beloved. Child. Worthy.
These are just a few of the names that God calls us.
Just think about how these two lists can impact how you live.
In Colossians 3:12, Paul reminds us that when we become a part of the family of God we are called “God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved.”
Think about the power in those three names.
Chosen – before the creation of the world, God chose us to be his son’s and daughters (Ephesians 1:3-5). Even though you may have been called “unwanted”, the truth is that you are wanted by God.
Holy – holy means “to be set apart.” God has called us to be set apart from the world to be His children and to show his love to the world. You have purpose.
Dearly loved – you are so “dearly loved” by the Father that he gave up His own Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for your sins so that you could experience the fullness of His love. No one else will ever sacrifice that much to show you love.
And what did you or I do to earn the right to be called these names? Nothing. It was all on Jesus. It was because of His sacrifice and His power that we are able to be called names by God.
We simply need to rest in that truth and live out our true identity.
*https://stuffchristianslike.net/2010/11/16/the-jesus-juke/