If you have not read my previous post HERE I AM then click to go read it now.
If you have read it, here is a refresher of how I described what the phrase “Here I am” means when we see it used in the Bible:
In Hebrew, it’s all one word. It’s the word hineni. It’s a response to God calling one to action. It is an attitude of humble servitude where one lays down their own agenda to be a part of what God is calling them to. It is like you are saying, “I am waiting for your direction, God.” I will go and do what you call me to do.
________________________________________________________________
“God, I responded to your call by saying, ‘Here I am’ so where are you? Why does my life seem so much harder now? This plan doesn’t make sense. Are you sure this is right?”
If you are like me then you can relate to the Bible character we are going to look at today because even though he had told God, “Here I am”, it seemed like God was silent.
So what do we do when we respond to God with, “Here I am” but God seems silent? Or we feel like God is silent because it seems like His plan is not happening fast enough? Or do we feel like He forgot about us?
But as we study this passage we will see that God wasn’t silent. God was very clear with what his plan was but the character was not ready to wait. They had not come to the point in their life where they were ready to say, “Here I am.”
After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” 2 He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.”
Genesis 22:1-2
Now before we dive into Abraham’s “Here I am” statement, we need to understand what the scripture is referring to when it says, “after these things.”
So let’s go back to Genesis 15-18 and do a quick fly over so we have the context to what “after these things” is referring to.
God promises to make Abraham into a great nation by giving him an heir. Abraham doesn’t believe him because he and his wife, Sarah, are old so that does not seem humanly possible. Abraham and Sarah get tired of waiting so Abraham sleeps with Hagar, Sarah’s servant, who then gives birth to Ishmael. Ishmael is not the promised heir. God shows up and tells Abraham and Sarah again that Sarah will give birth to the heir. They both laugh at God. God returns in Genesis 21 and Sarah finally gives birth to the true heir, Isaac.
After Isaac is born, wouldn’t you know that the two moms begin to fight. Sarah has Abraham cast out Hagar and Ishmael. Hagar wanders into the wilderness with nowhere to go and after giving up, decides to put Ishmael under a tree and then just wait for both of them to die. But an angel of God shows up and rescues them and blesses them. They go on to live a happy life. Yay it all seems good.
So why is this story placed right before the story we read about in Genesis 22?
Well, in the story of Ishmael we see Abraham follows his own will instead of God’s. Abraham thinks, “I got this. God, I know you said you would do something but clearly you need help since it is taking so long.” God gave Abraham a clear plan but Abraham did not want to follow it. Or at least not in the way that God intended him to follow it. Abraham wanted the promise now.
Now back to the story of Isaac in Genesis 22. In this story, you see God’s will being done and Abraham actually following it. This is clearly evident since the story opens with Abraham uttering the phrase, “Here I am.”
Now I wonder if Abraham uttered these words because He wanted to honor God and follow His will? Or did he utter these words because he was finally willing to wait and trust God because he saw how badly it turned out last time?
“I trust you God because I was an idiot before. I don’t know how you will provide but I trust you.”
It’s easy to say, “Here I am” when God’s plan makes sense to us but what about when we are in Abraham’s situation? When God’s plan does not make sense to us? What do we do then? We have two choices and they are the same ones that Abraham had: choose our path or follow God’s path.
We have the benefit of foresight to see that Abraham’s decision to try to fulfill God’s promise to him with Hagar does not end well but if we are honest we all would have done the same. Why? Because we want to be in control of our destiny. We want to do something. No one likes to sit around and wait.
We don’t like the story of Isaac because we are not in control. Abraham takes painstakingly step after step up that mountain only knowing that God has asked him to sacrifice his son. Abraham does not know the end of the story like we do so he is literally walking by faith.
“…the spiritual journey is not a success story or a career move. It is rather a series of humiliations of the false self.” -Thomas Keating*
This is what happens when we say, “Here I am.” It is not just telling God you want to be used by Him but for God to work in you so he can work through you. But before he can work through you he has to work out any and everything that does not look like Jesus. And sometimes that means “humiliation of the false self.” You know that “false self” that thinks it has everything under control, so you can handle anything that life throws at you. But then you have a story like Abraham’s. Where it only makes sense with God in control.
I think God sent Abraham on this journey to rid him of his “false selves.” If I put myself in Abraham’s shoes, I would have just been overwhelmed with all my thoughts trying to analyze what was going on and the outcome. Then finally after I realized there was nothing I could do to change the situation; my spirit would break and I would realize the only person who could remedy this situation was God so I would bow my head and pray.
I would offer up a prayer like that of David found in Psalm 40:1-3:
I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.
Just think about the story with Abraham and how it relates to this Psalm.
Abraham is patiently waiting for the Lord to hear his cry as he takes each painful step closer to the top of the mountain. Imagine how low Abraham was after he had bound his first born son with ropes and laid him on the altar and then raised a knife to kill him. But God shows up and stops Abraham.
God provides a ram for the sacrifice which Abraham offers as a burnt offering to God. God put a “new song” in Abraham’s mouth that day.
Many would have seen Abraham coming back with Isaac and asked what happened. Abraham may have responded by saying, “I waited on God and He provided.”
Here I Am.
*Keating, Thomas. Intimacy with God An Introduction to Centering Prayer. New York: Crossroad Publishing Company, 2020 quoted in Scazzero, Peter. Emotionally Healthy Spirituality Day by Day: A 40-day Journey with the Daily Office. Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2018, 63