Episode #001
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Theodore Roosevelt
What is a dad? If we say we want to be good dads, then we first have to define a dad. I believe if we want to be successful as dad’s, we need a goal or a standard we are striving for. We need a destination. If we don’t have a destination then we will never leave.
It’s like saying, “Hey let’s go on a trip sometime.” Ok…where? When? If you don’t plan any particulars you are never going to get there or do it. We need something to motivate us to get off our couch and get to work.
I have tried to come up with a short, concise definition for dad but I just could not come up with it. I think because dads do so much or at least they should.
Terms you could use to describe dads:
Protector, provider, handyman, breadwinner, wise sage, master of puns, tough and tender, manly,
What about describing dads as a “coach?”
A coach prepares you for the game. They instruct and encourage you during the game. They give feedback and help you develop a plan to do better next time to face the upcoming challenges. Most importantly, a coach doesn’t or can’t play the game for you but watches from the sidelines, in hopes that all of their instruction will pay off as the players compete in the game.
Some of you had a “critic” instead of a coach.
A critic sits in the crowd and yells at your mistakes, doesn’t offer feedback and even tries to play the game through you. Most importantly, a critic is not on the sidelines ready to help but rather is up in the crowd ready to critique.
A critic says, “You are making me look bad.” A coach says, “I want to help you do your best.”
Dads, are you a critic or a coach?
Are you “in the arena? Is your face marred by dust and sweat and blood? Do you strive valiantly to be a good dad; even though you fail again and again? Do you spend yourself in the worthy cause of fatherhood?
Do you know that at the worst, if you fail, at least you fail while daring greatly, so that your place shall never be with those cold and timid souls (critics) who neither know victory nor defeat.”
TAKEAWAY:
Ask your kids to define dad. Or what would they hope to receive from you as dad.
If married, ask your spouse, “I am a coach or critic?”
If not, then ask a close friend. Even if you are married you could still do this.
Lastly ask yourself: What kind of dad do you want to be?
What’s one thing you can do today, to help you be the dad you want to be?