“But what everyone has in common is that no matter how they grieve, they share a need for their grief to be witnessed…The need for someone to be fully present to the magnitude of their loss without trying to point out the silver lining.”
-David Kessler
Grief is a funny thing.
We don’t want to cry or break down in front of others because we either feel embarrassed or we don’t want to be a burden.
But when we do break down, and no one is around, we get upset. We are mad that no one is around to comfort us. We think, “What kind of friend would leave us all alone in a time like this?”
Then there is the other side, the person trying to comfort the grieving. We don’t know what to do or say so we either blab on and on or we just don’t show up. Or we think, “Even if I did show up, I wouldn’t know what to say or do so would I even help that much?”
We all have been through grief. Either as the one grieving or close to someone who is.
What’s the most comforting in those times?
People who show up. People who don’t try to fix or make it all better. Instead, they just sit and acknowledge the pain. Some cry. Some are silent. Some simply say, “This sucks.” and then they hug you and let you get out all your tears.
Grief must be witnessed.