We all have heard how bad cigarettes are for us but did you know that loneliness is actually more damaging to your health?
Yes, you read that correctly! Science has shown that “being lonely was physically more damaging than smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.”
So you are telling me that even though you may eat healthy, exercise regularly and get a good night of sleep, your health is that of a chain smoker if you regularly experience loneliness?
It’s not like you want to be alone but as Dr. John Delony says you may suffer from a “paralyzing dilemma.” What is this dilemma he is referring to?
In his book, Own Your Past Change Your Future, Dr. Delony says,
“Trauma and abuse send signals to your brain that other people are dangerous and can’t be trusted. Parts of your brain identify trusting relationships are not safe. At the same time, you and I need trusting relationships to breathe. We need connection to survive.”
That’s the paralyzing dilemma. You have been hurt in the past so you want to protect yourself from getting hurt again by keeping people at arm’s length not realizing that doing so is damaging to your wellness.
So what are we to do?
Dr. Delony says the only way, “If you’re serious about being well and having peace, you have to get connected. You must have people you can count on. People you can serve and show up for. People who will serve and show up for you.”