I felt like people were looking at me as a loser. Why?
Because I had failed. Because the secret was out. You failed as a husband. You had one job and you failed. What an absolute loser. Aren’t you a pastor? How does a pastor allow this to happen?
I did not want to face anyone because I believed they all were secretly thinking the same thing, “What a loser.” I began to believe the narrative that my shame was telling me.
This is what shame does. It whispers in your ear and tells you that you are worthless. Shame lies to you and says, “If people found out about _____ they would reject you. Only pieces of crap like you have this issue.”
I am going to go ahead and bet that everyone has experienced shame like this at least once in their lives. So what do we do about it?
You have to change the narrative playing in your head by replacing it with the truth.
For me, it was the following sections of scripture that began to change the narrative playing in my head:
“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved…” -Colossians 3:15a, 16a
Not only did God choose me to be a part of His family but He dearly loves me as well. When I listened to His narrative the other was exposed as a lie.
Which narrative are you listening to? Shame? Or God?