“People who seek self-esteem from eternal sources can never be truly content. They are the very epitome of a bottomless pit.”
David J. Lieberman, Ph.D.
Growing up I sought to find my self-esteem from so many external sources. I would say was this due to not having much or any relationship with my dad.
Every kid wants their mom or dad to validate them. They want to have a great relationship with their parents. And rightly so. Parents should support and encourage their kids.
The issue arises when that validation never comes or it’s conditional. Without a strong showing of support from my dad, I strived to earn his approval. If I could become something else or something better than me, then maybe he would validate me.
Not a good place to be. Now I am relying on someone else to make me feel worthy. What happens when that validation never comes? I became a bottomless pit seeking to find validation from anyone or anything.
I did everything I could to try and earn approval from others but it was never enough. I remember saying, “Sure, they may love me but who cares if my dad doesn’t.” Nothing could fill that emptiness.
The day eventually came when I quit blaming my dad for all my issues. A counselor pointed out that not everyone is going to love me and that’s ok. All you can do is seek to honor God with your actions, words, and attitudes and let go of the rest.