I used to say about my dad, “Well, I need to show him grace because as a kid he had a rough life.” I honestly have done that with numerous people in my life. I gave them a “pass” if you will for the hurtful way they treated me. I mean, hurt people hurt people, right?
I have begun to change my mind on this.
All that amounts to is an excuse to act like a jerk. You get to be the victim and never have to own your actions. Yes, past events may have impacted and shaped you but they don’t decide who you are.
I grew up in a chaotic divorced home. Did it cause some issues in me? Yes, but at the end of the day, I have to take responsibility for my actions.
How powerless do you become when you allow someone else’s actions from the past to shape your future?
Yes, you may be prone to certain behaviors because you saw them played out in your parents but you still get to choose. No one has perfect parents yet you meet kind and compassionate people all the time.
How?
Like most mature adults they reflected on what they saw as their parents’ shortcomings and decided to do better in those areas. They refused to be a victim of their situation. Instead, they understood the power they have to choose the kind of person they want to become.