Divorce changes you even when you think it hasn’t.
A part of your life and who you were is gone, so naturally you are going to course correct to figure out how to survive without it now.
Here’s how divorce changed me as a dad.
I am more present. As a parent, you only get 18 years with your kids before they move out. Now cut that in half. That’s the time I have since I have shared custody. This has forced me to be more intentional with my time with my kids.
Work/life balance. I used to work all the time. I thought my job needed me to be present all the time. Then I got let go and realized I am easily replaced so why give my time to someone who will just replace me? My kids need me now.
Feel feelings. I take on the role of dad (tough) and mom (tender), so I need to be in tune with my feelings to care for my kids and their feelings. I don’t have someone to pick up the slack when I am off emotionally. My kids need stability. They are struggling with processing their feelings so they don’t need the weight of dealing with my issues.
This forced me to not only feel my feelings but to work through them. I wanted to show my kids that healing and moving forward is possible.
Divorce sucks but not all the changes have to be negative. Look for the positive.