It’s that helpless…no it’s more of that defeated feeling deep in the pit of your stomach but you can’t grasp what’s happening so you feel just stuck.
Maybe a story will help.
A few years back I was working on replacing water lines in my garage that had busted due to cold Iowa winter. I was struggling with some parts of it and was getting frustrated.
Then I lost it. Full rage meltdown into crying. What just happened? What was I crying about?
Have you ever seen a toddler have a meltdown? They don’t have the words or tools to express what is going on inside of them. That’s how I felt.
I felt stuck because these feelings would just explode out in some rage session, I would get upset for the way I acted, I would blame my life situation, and then push the feelings down until they exploded out again. I was stuck in a Groundhog Day situation where I felt like I repeated the same thing over and over each day.
How did I get out of this cycle?
I felt my feelings instead of trying to mask them. When I took time to ask myself, “What is going on?” I realized it wasn’t about the immediate issue. There were past traumas and hurt that I needed to deal with.
I had the choice to either remain a hostage to my feelings or face them so I could move into a life of freedom.